Slow Week, Busy Days

August 2nd, 2024

Hey. It's been... a week. Mostly dealing with real life stuff, and I haven't gotten much done. Worked in Unreal, I guess. Don't have much to say, other than venting frustrations or talking about ideas I don't have much backing for. I could do the former, I guess. I just feel really incompatible with learning from videos. I'm way too used to spacing out as soon as interest wanes (again, repetition or explaining something obvious), but I'm not sure if the fix is having something to do all the time or just getting used to it.

If it's the former, I could try taking notes or getting an idle game up to keep me busy at the low points. Thinking about it more, I've done this for long enough to know that I should be used to videos by now, and from a math course I didn't have any issues while I was taking notes. It's not that watching videos is innately boring either, since I can watch YouTube videos pretty easily, and even during idle moments I don't mind waiting until something happens.

I think the issue is that educational videos need more focus, but not consistently. Other videos are fine because I'm not trying to commit anything to memory, or if I am, the content itself is either concise or edited to be consistently engaging. Educational videos deliver information, but don't worry about how they do it. If I treat it like any other video, I won't remember anything, but if I give it my full focus, I get bored because I end up dedicating my focus to dead air (or similar) too often.

Honestly, I just wanna get past all this shit and not have to rely on working with videos to learn any of this. The best parts are when I can just strike it out on my own without having to wait on someone else. Having to deal with tutorials is more annoying than having my own problems sometimes, since the reason I screwed up might be some small thing I missed or some difference that I didn't know about and need to account for. My own mistakes are at least just trying and failing to do something, so I have an easy frame of reference.

It's all makes a shitty loop.
I follow the tutorial -> There's an issue -> I don't have enough knowledge/confidence to fix it -> I go back to the tutorial -> I fix it but don't really get it -> I follow the tutorial
Yeah, I might need to make a change with how I'm approaching all of this. More next week.